Freebird

If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me?
Well...will you?

I'm trying to free range the chickens as much as possible, but given that I have a big hungry black lab, I'm somewhat limited in these efforts. Yesterday afternoon, I let the chickens out because the kids wanted to play with them and I wanted them to eat bugs and scratch and do chicken stuff. We locked up the big black beast to ensure the birds' safety and all was pastoral bliss until it was time to get the chickens back in the coop. Usually, with a little persuading and gentle nudging, I can get the birds back in with minimal effort....but not last night.

That great juniper bush that the chickens like to scratch under? Well last night I spent a good 20 minutes running in circles around it trying to get the chickens out. I got about half the birds in and then two would run out as I tried to usher two more in. I finally had the sense to quit before I got any more frustrated, but then there was the issue of the barking black beast who really wanted to escape the garage and run free. The dog would just have to wait.

About 45 minutes later -- the kids had been fed and tubbed -- I put the beast on a leash and set out toward that @#*&%^@* juniper to get the chickens back in. This time I was armed with not only a big hairy beast, but also a kiddie fishing net that we use to catch minnows down the cape every summer. Sure the chickens ran away from the dog, but only to the other side of the tree. Even with the fishing net, once again I'm running in circles and getting no where (but hey! that's a typical day for a stay-at-home mom). After 25 minutes of more insanity, I admit defeat.

In a semi-irritated panic, I text my friend Catherine, the guru of all things fowl. She tells me to wait until it gets darker when the chickens slow down and actually want to go to bed. Oh, but she also mentions to make sure that I get to them before something else does... No worries. Never mind that I abut 92+ acres of wildlife land (wildlife meaning the many animals that like to eat fresh chicken). Sure enough, I go out just as the sun is setting and the last three chickens are desperately trying to find a way into the coop. With a little shuffling, I manage to get them back in. FINALLY! All are safe, and I can stop practicing my circle of life speech to explain to the kids what happened to the chickens.

Apparently, you can train the chickens to come running by shaking a bucket of chicken scratch. Alas, I don't have any chicken scratch, but you can bet your sweet bippy that I am going to get some immediately!

Needless to say, the chickens aren't leaving the coop today.

'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.